Feel Like A Woman

Feel Like A Woman

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He’s gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

“Iron this.”

Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

10. JRLA — Janet Reno Look-Alike

9. CWP — Cigar-Wielding President

8. MSG S/G W/B M/F KOPWPFYB — Moonwalking Single-Gloved Straight/Gay White/Black Male/Female King Of Pop With Predilection For Young Boys

7. RHMI — Really Hip Macarena Instructor

6. HAWGSOH — Heroin Addict With Great Sense Of Humor

5. STLSM — Show Tune-Loving Straight Male

4. SWFWHBTP — Single White Female Who Has Blown The President

3. EHWC — Extremely Hairy White Chick

2. WARSADAP — Works At Radio Shack And Drives A Pinto And The Number One

1. WSUBFC — Will Screw Ugly Bastards For Cash

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Murphey’s Laws Of Computing

Murphey’s Laws Of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
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TUGZip is a powerful award-winning freeware archiving utility for Windows® that provides support for a wide range of compressed, encoded and disc-image files, as well as very powerful features; all through an easy to use application interface and Windows Explorer integration.
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Difference Between Macbook and Macbook Pro

Macbook vs Macbook Pro
If you are in a dilemma whether to buy a Mac Book or a Mac Book Pro, you must first acquaint yourself with the core elements that make the two computers different from each other. There are a variety of differences between the two laptops besides just the price. You will have to realize however, that the Mac Pro is considerably more expensive than just the regular Mac Book, but you should also compare the specification differences before making your final decision.
First of all you have to consider the processors of the two laptops. The Mac Book features between 1.83 Ghz and 2.0 Ghz processor while the Mac Book Pro has a 2.0 to 2.16 Ghz duo processors.
Next you will look at the differences in screen size and resolution. The Mac Book has a 13 inch screen and a 1280 x 800 resolution, with a glossy display. The MacBook Pro on the other hand has a 15.4 inch screen with 1440 x 900 resolution and another model with a 17 inch screen with 1650 x 1050 resolution with either a matte or glossy widescreen display.

Also, the Mac Book Pro has a lot harder disc space than the Mac. It has more expansion ports and also has the option for a dual layer DVD player which the Mac Book does not have. Mac Book Pro in addition, has a backlight keyboard which the regular Mac does not have. Another great feature that the Pro has is an ambient light feature which will dim and brighten the keys and screen automatically.

Probably one of the biggest differences that is seen between a Mac Book Pro and a Mac Book is the video card. The regular Mac relies heavily on its main system Ram and the Pro contains a video card that has dedicated memory. Another great difference between the Mac Book and the Mac Book Pro is the battery life. The new Pro’s battery can last you up to 7 hours whereas the Macs battery is only about 5 hours. This has become one of the biggest reasons why people have been converting over to the Pro.

The weight of the Mac Book and the Pro is another thing that should be considered. The Mac is actually the lighter of the two and weighs in at 4.5 pounds while the pro weighs in at 5.5 pounds.

Finally you need to consider the expansion capabilities between the two. The Mac Book has a two USB2 ports while the Mac Book Pro also has two USB2 ports along with the firewall 800 and an express card