Feel Like A Woman

Feel Like A Woman

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He’s gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

“Iron this.”


Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

10. JRLA — Janet Reno Look-Alike

9. CWP — Cigar-Wielding President

8. MSG S/G W/B M/F KOPWPFYB — Moonwalking Single-Gloved Straight/Gay White/Black Male/Female King Of Pop With Predilection For Young Boys

7. RHMI — Really Hip Macarena Instructor

6. HAWGSOH — Heroin Addict With Great Sense Of Humor

5. STLSM — Show Tune-Loving Straight Male

4. SWFWHBTP — Single White Female Who Has Blown The President

3. EHWC — Extremely Hairy White Chick

2. WARSADAP — Works At Radio Shack And Drives A Pinto And The Number One

1. WSUBFC — Will Screw Ugly Bastards For Cash


Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.


Murphey’s Laws Of Computing

Murphey’s Laws Of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
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Reasons The 80’s Were A Cooler Time To Grow Up Than The 90’s

Reasons The 80’s Were A Cooler Time To Grow Up Than The 90’s

10) MTV actually played videos in the 80’s.

9) There were only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (white with a red swish), and they didn’t cost $125.

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